11/26/09

Post-Break-Up

What do I love most about myself is.. I can totally play drama. I pretend so much about life. But yeah, life’s giving away chances for me to prevent those cruel things that would ever happen to my life. I see, I think. That is what exactly I do. Maybe I could’ve pretend something so much better than anyone. Maybe I am a LIAR. But that’s not the point. I am trying, this whole cruel world is worth to try. Then why not play part? See? I don’t have any idea how people can judge another, while he/she doesn’t have any rights for doing such things. It’s like, hey who the hell are you, you just can’t point the hell out of me and say those mean words!

Damn you, it’s just my life.

My life has always been about passion of writing, or playing piano. Luckily, after what I’ve been through my whole life, I still have these passions. I’m sure, that they won’t just go away, just like some friends, or just a lover. It’s going to be good, when you still have something to hold on to. Just like passion.

I have passion of learning so many languages. I’d like to speak in 4 or even 6 different languages if it’s possible. I should be possible to do that. One more gay said,”We’re still young.”

I read a tweet from my ex-lover. He said “When you say ‘Life is hard.” I would like to say, ‘Compared to what?.” This sentence is just real good, I think. What should we say? What are you comparing to, when you say something is really hard? I won’t compare anything to anyone, or anywhat. I know we would have a different portion of accepting and also giving. It’s just can’t be the same for anyone. We have differences, level, feeling, stuffs. That just won’t be the same. I don’t say that life is easy, well for me, it is not. They might be asked you for accepting something that you know you can’t, but I would love to say.. You don’t judge it also! It’s just maybe time.

I’m happy to know that I am, my self is going to be somewhere, I just know by now, well for at least I am trying to accept the fact that I am not the only one who sucks. This is going to be somewhere, I know it. Then just let the drama begins.

If someone asked me whether I’m happy or not. I would say, I broke my heart just few days ago. But I am clearly this happy. Because I already know that I am definitely going to somewhere else, that’s good. I am positive, I am optimistic. Or may be I am just too happy to find out that I don’t have any responsibility of keeping the good relationship with a lover, which is really tiring. I just love being literally single, the very right now. I’ll chase my dream away, just because I know that I am positive. And I know I can do that even better.

Let’s just be clear and fair, could be someone one complaining this much, when you have some problems such as, breaking up, betraying, fighting, and all those kind of love issue?

Why can’t you just see, there are POVERTIES all around the world. People who can’t literally eat! They don’t have enough water, they have skin diseases, they never get a chance to learn. They are far away from anything that could have make their life better. And compared to me? I don’t eat right. I am literally underweight, and what makes me really shame, is.. I just taking care of these love life issues, these break-ups. Never ending mean words. Never ending fight.

I would like to say, I could have stop this drama, right away. No, maybe it’s too big, it’s way too difficult for me also, to take care of them (poor people). I haven’t done something big before, like big charity or volunteering my self away, Maybe not yet. But my brain, it leads me there, I have already find the direction to do something much than this, or to write anything even bigger than just break up issue.

People can’t really stop complaining, I would like also to say, I wouldn’t stop complaining. But for at least, I see and I think. This is what I called, I really love myself the most, when it comes to these stuffs, maybe I can put up these issues just to pretend that I am really okay. Or not. But no, really.. I think about these all the time. And guys, I really wanna let you know that, I am so moving on after break up, and that is really not because SOMEBODY ELSE.

Oh I lost my words. :p

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