10/16/09

I just know by now.



If I could miss someone this very much. I have never thought any of these feelings ever before. These all sudden differences are killing me. Fuck if someone says, what doesn't kill makes you stronger. I never could have be stronger for this kind of crisis. I MISS YOU. HELL. I REALLY MISS YOU. I COULD HAVE SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT. I feel like I sucked too much cigarettes, till I can't get enough air to breath, that is how I feel. You just really need to know that I missed you more than anyone could be. Glory God, can I just meet him for a single shot of a dream. Can I just justify all of these as something iresistibly unexplainable. Oh Politicians, can you ever feel this kind of human nature feeling, missing someone so bad, is just like messing with your opposite, mister. No good feeling at this, even one. Nope. This is life, it's not a dream, can you differentiate this? I'm living my life very righteously. I don't do wrong (anymore). I'm not taking this feeling as easy as usual, because I don't know how in the world could I take this much any longer. I'm humble, though I'm greedy, I want too much things, I couldn't make my ass move to afford it. I'm getting to be used to something painfully alone. It kinda hurts, you know, to be fucking alone and not to be with you, right now. It's like fucking idiot when I'm not around you when you're actually avoiding to show your feeling too much -not-to-miss-me. And well, mister, what I'm doing is exactly the same, I'm like to tired and full to show this feeling around, I know what I'm going to get. It's nothing. So I prefer not to do anything instead hiding this feeling.

You know really sure how much I miss you. You know it for sure.
How could I spend my time around just to see you in front of this fucking laptop for sure. How could I stand not to kiss you? Did you ever considered me as the other party that feels exactly the same loss as you? I'm existed not to be alone. You really know how to turn me on to write something about you, you really know. Cruel that you said I don't really care much about you. You should have known me better than anyone ever could make it. I really really can't recall a better day without you.
A friend of mine, told me something, when winter begins, then you'll be all gloomy. Maybe that is it. Today is the first snow in Germany, I don't know when mine is begin. But the gloomiest feeling ever is coming for more.
Oh Crap, I miss you too much :(

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