9/6/09

Being alone and normal.
I'm leaving my comfortable zone.
I try to forget how much being spoiled.
and alone and normal.

It's really been a while since I didn't post anything on my mind then put them into words. Really been a while. and I'm literally losing my words. Since the wandering days are over and all the gloomiest part is left behind apart. I don't really notice that it's hard for me to crawl beneath loneliness. Now the sickened life crisis has actually come to an end, and I have to be (one more time) grateful for it.

I'm alone and I'm normal.

What makes me alone and normal is, in 3 weeks so for more, I have to be alone in doing everything. It sucks me when something has to do and only can do with a survival. I'm alone, normal, but not really a survivor, so please leave me alone with that.
I'm keeping a good works here, I'm building a new life here. I cried at least just twice, and the hardest part is not, home sicking or else. It's just me, I realized that It's just something we can deal about being far away from home, family and friends, that can be controlled by mind. And that's not the biggest part among all. The thing we have to really deal with is, How to control the feelings. But then again I'm alone, normal and nobody can help me, but me.

It's just normal being away, it's too normal.

It's just the matter of time and how can you adapt and accept it.

But my question is this. How in the world, can we control our mind dealing with these?
This not really some life crisis. This just a process. But HOW TO CONTROL them.

I am alone, normal, and have thoughts.
So I put my thoughts in to words, I'm not hoping for much (solution) I'm just keeping myself of being normal. Just like me in the past months.
Oh yes, It's really been a while since... the sickened life crisis past away.
I'm good for now.

And now, heeeem.. how i really miss my mom's sambel ulek.

and just for now, I really have to deal with the survival stuffs, oh and that's not really hard when you got something inside of you, and you know that you're so much better of doing that.

I know I'm alone, and trying so hard being normal, but the thing is..i've got so much questions dancing in my head, and the hardest part to answer how to control my mind is, keeping dancing away in my head.

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