6/26/09

A Huge Step <3 and Writing is a Relief :)

And all of the sudden, I decided to write a notes again :)

I'm now like facing a big-nearly-hugest step I ever had. I'm facing a next big world that I grateful to have it. God give me chances (a lot), and I don't want it to be wasted as I always did for over like thousand times. I was reading my old notes, referring to someone I called a coward, but I made a mistake..I'm the one he should've called a coward. But life doesn't have to be all filled with love right? So then we decided not to have a talk, speech, or lecture about that, and it based on a logical philosophy with a tagline "Too Much Love Will Kill You" and I added "Soon" to it. We never talked about that anymore.

So life has to be all about changes. We change clothes, we change our socks, we also change our feelings, that is normal, though changing is not always great, but challenging, am I right? So.. Why does we have to be affraid of any of that? I don't make my sense. Life has its own path, so pray. Though I don't pray much.

Repeat of what I said, I was out of the phase, the sickened life crisis. And it was all rubish..garbage. Sucks. So I delightful with all of these -yeay-just-called-it-an-en
lightment. I'm happy enough with this zuperrr situation, but I have to face the next step, which is huge for me. And I'm a coward. Not that I mention I'm not sure about the next step I had to take, its just weird, referring to a haha-hihi project then bold it to a higher level of a relationship, oh I must've been forgot to mention what step..its about relationship, and I'm not really brave to face it up. So then I go writing this note, "nyampah" again, then publish again, even though I wanna skip the "publish" part, I still want to share my thoughts to any people who read this (call it garbage).
I thing I have a lack sensibility to create the path, because I was lost too deep, and it was also pretty bad.
I don't hide, I was lost, but I guess I can say that somebody found me, and take me back to where I am. And he is the greatest man I ever met (I posted this on my current notes). Well let's just zip it up, just don't lock it. I'm affraid I want to open it but the key is already gone, so I prefer to have it close with a zipper one, easier to do, simplier way to make, and the weakest point to have. But its okay right? Nobody do such things, they locked what they want to forget. They threw out keys, they're leaving memories. But that is a way. A way that would someone ever to regret. I regret too much things, I also blamed my self for everything, that does make sense for me, in a weakest point, I'm the one who destroys..I'm the one who were leaving, I'm the one who regretted.

I never want to be a gray. I always one in a side, even if its black (which means bad), I always take one side, I don't do choose, I always let God take action of anything related to my life. I always believe that God put the best way in every move we have, every breath we take, even in a worst situation I believe God give us best. So there's nothing to be worried. I've been writing my whole life. Its the best way to cut all those gloomiest days without ability to share your kinda problems.

Consider I'm done with this garbage, I decided to put all the doubts, and face it up. Its a step that worth to try. Its a phase I have to live with, and a choice that I have to deal with it.

I'm going to keep my thoughts to be written or to be typed, not to let people know what I'm doing, but sharing is the best way. In addition to make this note is useful if somehow its related to same problem we have to face, just write!

I'll post this one later on blogspot once I get a chance to use my laptop instead this frustrating blackberry :( hihi.

Oh writing is a relief for me!

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